Hi!!! I Am Satan.
Hello. Well not really. Ok I am not Satan. Do you think he has the time with the Census going on to come up here and enlighten you wretched little Monkeys. I am however a Crown Prince Of Hell.
I have been sent as an emissary to this quite destitute dirtball to first; apologize in His Name for the slight delay. God; may His wretched soul be consumed by the lovely magma of The Lake Of Fire; is lazy. Or perhaps even a Coward. Our Census is almost done. Lucifer Himself is attending to the last count of all the Whores that have ever lived. That is why I am here. To answer your questions.

So ask away.


This is the first post I made in My "Hi!I Am Satan!" thread. Perhaps you should go out and educate yourself. You are like a small child in that you want all of your information provided to you on a Silver Platter; when in fact you are now an Adult.
Adults, believe it or not, must seek out information.
Not to say that you should not ask questions; rather I would ask that I not have to repeat myself five hundred times before people who act so inquisitive yet are so ignorant realize that I Am Not A Demon!!!!!!!!!

I Am A Fallen Angel! An Angel.
Not a Demon.
Only your miserable souls are worthy of that Name.
Even than only the miserable Ones We like.

By the way; your God is a Lazy, cowardly, bastard.