i know i'm on the meds. what are you taking? that's what i want to know first. because it is true that your body can develope a "tolerance" to these medicines. i know, they had to keep upping the dose of my zoloft over the past two years until finally my body couldn't handle the side effects anymore. so they had to team me up with another one. it could be that you aren't on the right one... or the right mix, you know? and with anti-depressants, they aren't supposed to make you "happy". they are supposed to help you to be able to feel happy. not every day is supposed to be a five star day.

do you go to talk therapy? because maybe you should... to get to the root of your cutting. that's what got me to stop cutting. but make sure that if you do go see a therapist (if you aren't already) that you are absolutely comfortable with them. that is the key in many theraputic progress. if they say anything to you that makes you feel angry, defensive, sad, or any negative feelings along those lines, then i suggest you see a different one.

i take zoloft and provigil (for energy to counterbalance the side effect of the zoloft). i have only been on provigil for less than a week... i think it's going pretty good maybe you should get your medications changed and see if that makes a difference. sometimes it really does make a HUGE difference! and i understand not really KNOWING why you cut. i did that too. my boyfriend would always ask me, "why do you do it baby?" and i'd answer either "i don't know" or something to the best of my ability. just take a look at your triggers, what makes you want to cut, when you normally cut and where. also look for certain patters on where, when, why, who, or what trigger that desire for release... you may find out a lot that you didn't know! i know that i realized once i began to come out of my depression a little that i not only cut for release, but as a punishment for myself. also, it was a physical manifestation of how bad i felt on the inside. so take a look, think for awhile, and go see your doctor!

blessed be,

skarllette