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07-28-02
severe case of depression its horrible. i cut myself (well use to anyway, last night i made a promise that i wouldnt anymore) to try and stop the pain. it never works. i hide my tears from my friends because i dont want them to know.
I'm paranoid out the ass. i think that everything is a setup and everyone is out to hurt me. thats because everything I've ever attached myself to has, no exaggeration, i swear.
i cant be in a space if i know i cant get out. it doesnt even have to be small. if I'm in a room and the doors locked from the other side, I freak out. On the last day of school a friend locked me in a band instrument locker, and I had a fit.
I often work myself into breakdowns. I think about my past and what a horrible present it has caused and then I find myself crying in a corner, taking whatever sharp object I can find and slashing it across a new piece of unbroken flesh...
I dont trust easily, not at all.
Your Morning Star
-Dri- |