so sorry to hear that. i've lost a few now, and it never gets any easier.

just two months ago i actually witnessed my grandmother's death from cancer. we were close (she raised me), and i know i will have nightmares about losing her for the rest of my life.

i find it especially hard to reconcile my own devout agnosticism with the deaths of loved ones. i mean, i actually envy the people who, however blindly, believe in an afterlife. i really wish i could, but i just don't know.

i'm also convinced that anyone who says they have no regrets in life is either lying, or an asshole.

there is nothing that can be done but remember them with love.

and try to keep yourself sane. do *NOT* give in to drugs or alcohol to relieve your own pain. any other time, sure, but not now, it will just kill your soul at this time. let your seratonin give you their natural numbing. the sharper hurting will fade away in time, but expect to always have this sort of sensation of missing them for the rest of your life. don't worry, it's not always so defined. usually it stays in the background of your subliminal mind.

take care of yourself (and eat)...