Thread: DOWN..... on the farm.
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DOWN..... on the farm. - 02-10-08
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so for the last 1.5 yrs i have been this happy little drone at work. i come in, i do my job. i clean up, i even lead a small group of bratz and make sure things get done, thats the whole point of getting the gold name-tag, right?
well, anyway... so i do this all the time never asking two many questions. holding my breathe instead of completely freaking o9ut, which still happens from time to time. those poor kids. im talking to my ex last night and she says, "you cared more about your job than me."

i found myself in utter awe. i was so taken back from this. i thought there was another guy, she missed home, she hated me..... NO! my fucking bullshit job took up all my free-time while she just basicaly vanished in my mind. i cant fucking believe myself...WTF!?!

ive never been known for being the brightest of the bunch but most of the time i find girls dont like me because i wouldnt give them any space, and now this one leaves because of too much space.

*anouncement*
HEY BITCHES, MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!

truthfully it hasnt been that long now, and i have more than enough to keep me occupied, but its times like this when i wish i had someone to talk to. someone to just hold on to at any given moment.
at work i find myself in a funk i cant get out of, and not like a groovy P-Funk, but a shit funk. im miserable. everyone there was being stupid so now not only did she leave me and the house, she quit work.
i cant even see her face. hear her words, comfort her..... i mean these are all pretty trivial things but i always end up showing all my emotions when there is noone to show them too. itsb a failsafe in my mind. if i dont show weakness then i am not weak.
i could cal her, but why? why bother?
i would just get agrivated because she wouldnt have anything to talk about and i would just be like, "come home baby please...." and she'll tell me to go fuck myself i wont change and she cant trake it. im better off....... sorry, somewhere i forgot that the point of this isnt me........

SHE'S prolly better off in the long run withought me and my lead feet and carpet burned ass. (expression of the week)






do i love her...


?


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