I solved the problem,

there is a bootable app called "Boot and Nuke"

it loads, decompresses some sort of linux shell and then allows you to zero write your drive to various levels of security (DoD...etc)

its all good now, except im getting a generic windows error - which is weird because windows is running fine. it just says "windows error - send report?" and when I say "dont send report" it goes away and doesnt bother me for a few hours.

I think I just need to find another copy of windows.