1.) Before I answer the phone I push my nose
2.) Whenever I see a tree I am compelled to bounce kick off of it
3.) When I am driving I have to win
4.) After every meal I have to have a glass of soda or beer
5.) If you cut me off while I'm driving I will start laughing and speeding towards you
6.) If there is a zit on my body it must be destroyed, I squeeze out the pus, the plasma, the blood, the dirt, then I rip the infected flesh from my body. The same goes for blackheads.
7.) Don't look at me unless I know you, or I will stare at you psychotically.
8.) Don't cut in front of me at the checkout line in the store, male or female, or I will sit there and say things aloud like "Fucking bastard piece of shit, I should chuck this bottle of mountain dew at you, ass gobbling whorebanger."
9.) Whenever I hear a gunshot I duck and dodge, even if it sounds a half a mile a way
10.) Whenever I see a cop I spit on the ground and say 'fucking cops' as loud as I can
11.) Whenever I am in the checkout line at the store I have to win
12.) Whenever I think of coricidan I gag, I cannot drink arizona green tea because that's what i'd often take it with
13.) I fucking hate dogs, if a dog starts to bark at me I take it as a threat and start beating it's fucking ass, i've even been to jail for it. I'm a cat person.
14.) When I'm on my bicycle I have to win, don't fuck with me
15.) If I don't know you don't touch my ass on purpose or I will backhand you
16.) Even if I do know you don't touch me unless it's a hug or a kiss because it will make me uncomfortable and I will react irrationally.
17.) Don't ever fuck with my sister or my cat, or I will stab you in the face with a ball-point pen. My sister and my cat are the only two things I care about in this world.
18.) Whenever I drink liquor, I gag on the first two shots, then I can swig coffee cups full of tequila like it's koolaid
19.) Whenever I drink liquor, I will start a fight with my best friend for no reason, and not apologize
20.) Don't touch me when I'm drunk or we will throw down, male or female
21.) When I'm drunk I have to win, so don't get in my way
I seriously can't sit here and tell you everything I have to take a crap.