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Originally Posted by Jordyn  how confident are you in the relationship you two have that can handle the egos that can become involved?
it's really something you both should continue to discuss, if you are having reservations explain them to her, tell her why it has you concerned; and find out why she wants to add this depth to your relationship, my husband enjoyed the competitive ego knowing that i'd always go back to his bed, no matter how fun the young guy ws, i liked the break from his libido, confident that no other women could compete with me in his, life. He still continues to sleep around,but i've become content with what i have in my life, and no longer need to seek more, but we were able to adjust our relationship to our needs, i don't mind him banging other girls, i get the affection, home and support, being the wife. Mistresses do have sort of a historical precedence, i just know about his.
the flipside can happen, i know a couple that just finalized a divorce...it was a weak relationship from the beginning, but rather than working on what the relationship was lacking, they chose to add another depth of other people to it, he couldn't handle the emotional conflict anymore and she didn't want to stop...he's now a single father.
ultimately it comes down to working out what you both need to keep your relationship stable, knowing with full confidence that any choices you or your partner make in a third, fourth or any other additional relationship will have no affect on the health of your main relationship, if that's not something you feel confident with, no matter how long you've been a couple, can you handle knowing your partner being pleased by another person, how do you feel about being with another person, is it an open relationship she's interested in, swinging, polyamory, will you two mutually discuss extra partners, deciding as a couple or just anyone, one person choose, disease testing of any extra partners, where are you going to be finding those you two decide to play with?
if either of you are having doubts, i wouldn't suggest doing anything more than sitting down and discussing exactly what each of you want and expect out of such a combustable aspect to a serious relationship, it can be amazing fun and a quick fix for the boring married sex...
but generally the girls get more action then the men, one person can end up sitting home alone because of a mix up in timing or bad day, while their partner is off doing another, and sometimes the emotional needs of their significant other are forgotten...even the best relationships can feel a little neglected if the couple's needs change and they don't discuss it.
do you think your relationship can handle third parties being involved and confident in the ability to control your ego and emotions if a guy with a bigger cock comes along, could she deal with you banging a girl that might be prettier...how will the sex between you two be affected?
it's good you're questioning it, it's really not a easy lifestyle emotionally or physically...i have no regrets, but i'm still the spoiled princess on a pedestal, while another girl takes the pounding. |
Oh, man. All this has done is give me more reason to worry.
For one thing, I'm not an exhibitionist. I don't even like for people to see me in my boxers, let alone some other dude in the room while I'm banging my girl. We've been watching some videos and talking about different shit. I just don't know.
My girl's into BDSM. Which, I am, too, but I don't know how far I want to take it. She wants to be a slave, but she wants to dominate, too. I'm more dominate than anything else. I like having my way.
I worry because I've always been one of those people with a crazy self-image. At times I'm really egotistical, but sometimes I'm really self-concious. Is that what they call manic-depressive? Whatever. Anyway, I worry because I'm afraid that if we do something like this, who's to say she's not going to leave me for some other guy/girl that fucks her better? I mean, I trust her, but there's always that chance that it'll change everything. I love my girl, and I don't want to lose her.
She's always telling me that I'm the one she comes home to and all that, but what happens that one day when she doesn't? And, I completely agree that females get more than males. That's another aspect that worries me. What if she has all these guys falling all over her trying to fuck her, and I can't even find one girl willing? That would suck.
My girl has a myspace page where she portrays her wicked side. There's all kinds of freaks on there trying to get with her. Some girl told her today that she wanted to be my girl's slave for a week. Which, in itself, might be kind of cool. But what about the rest of the fucking psycho-freaks?
God, I hate this shit.
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Then dont let it happen. If thats how you feel then it will only make things worse when it does happen. And if she says "oh lets do it with another girl then" you need to make her assure you that she isnt going to try to pull some bullshit about "oh well now i want to do another guy, its only fair!" If thats what it'll be fuck that.
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She would probably do that, too. She's that kind of person.
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