I have asked those same (well similar anyway lol) questions to myself and many others. How i found my "way" was actually just a click away. I suggest you go to parascience.org and check out some of the great essays on occultism and life as a whole. i admire mr.dolgorukii for his excellent work and if it wasn't for him i would not have the outlook on life i do now.

in my honest opinion i find wicca sort of "insulting" to their own message (if that even makes sense). the whole movement began as a sort of revolt against mainstream religeon (if i have done my research correctly). but isn't that just a reaction to mainstream religeon? i mean how can one reach "spiritual enlightenment" if you follow a lifestyle based on revolting against something?

i hope this post makes sense. it's late and i'm tired lol