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05-20-07
I really like all of these, but I didn't like how the imagery and metaphors lessened in number the further down the poems went, some of the swearing could've been replaced with other metaphors (the sex one made me grin purely for it's originality). But, I get where you were going with this, so I'll just say something like the poems show how towards the end the person who's perspective you're writing from went further into insanity or anger and so was more vocal about their annoyances. Keep it up (and if you work keeping it up into another metaphor with the penis, I'll give you a cookie). |