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03-21-07
There's some fantastic, sultry melodrama in this. You really know how to use your words. There are a few sentences with minor mistakes like no capital letter at the beginning, and one would crumple to their knees rather than crumble, but if this is a first draft, even if edited already, you're onto a winner I think. Please post more! I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter. |