Quote:
Originally Posted by apostate87  you assume too much about me. i've spent hours staring at the flame of candle, watching it dance around, chaotic, but beautiful in its randomness; meaningless, but beautiful in its pointlessness; pure matter and energy and cold, heartless physics, but beautiful in its simplicity.
i've felt rain on me, in the cold, in the dark, with the wind blowing and the moon poking out from behind the clouds. i've felt the icy pinpricks and the sensation of it and warmth in my cheeks defying the wind. i've seen the world blanketed in darkness, where everything becomes one color and is all just as beautiful, just as glorious as it would be in the light.
this is how i look at the world. i see the physical, and understand the physical, but make it better through abstraction. |
One moment of wonder. one momentary sensation.
Is not an entire life filled with wonder and beauty and Nature.
You think you understand the physical world because of this?
That is like peeking through a keyhole once: from a prison cell that you have lived in all of your life: and imagining that from this one tiny glimpse... you suddenly... instantly... understand the entire world, all of nature. all the universe... everything! You are GOD! You know EVERYTHING! You are...what? Peeking through what? Staring at a candle?????
And you think that this experience of yours is not only as good as going to the country every weekend, building a fire in the fireplace, going outside and cross-country skiing in the bright sunlight until you are so hot that you have to take off your jacket, and you are steaming with heat... breathing in the fresh clean crisp air... with the beauty of the snow-covered forest all around you, and stretching your legs and arms with every sliding swing of your entire body... traveling over the soft snow, over hills, up hills, sliding doewn them, falling into the snow laughing, brushing off the snow, and exploring the valley and the ice cold stream, and going in the winter where you could never go in the summer because all the brush was too thick to penetrate. Coming back after hours of exercise that tones and uses every muscle in your body... to a cozy cabin with a fire going... to make a feast cooking a goose with all the trimmings, amongst friends all happy and healthy and smiling and in good humor... sitting by the fireside, staring at the flames while the cuckoo clock ticks on the wall while the crackling fire sputters and hisses... feeling the satisfaction of resting after a well-earned day of fun and beauty outdoors in the woods... not thinking about anything... just feeling good, feeling alive....
I wish everybody could have been as lucky as I have been. I wish every person had the experiences i had. I am the luckiest person ever born. I hate the fact that other people are not as lucky as I was. I hate the fact that I cannot explain to you how fantastic my life has been. I hate the fact that other people have not been as lucky as i was to find out that living in Nature is better, and more fun, and healthier than living in cities.
I would like to take every young person out of the city: and have them live in the country for months on end. I would love to introduce them to actually living without all the comforts of city life. But I am not rich enough to fund my own camp for children.
You will never understand until you have lived like me: in both worlds. And I hate that also. You cannot understand other people unless you live with them. You cannot understand another culture unless you live in that culture for years. I hate the internet. I hate abstraction. Every person I can get to leave their computers and go out and live: is a victory for me.