Thread: past/present
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turak
 
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12-07-06
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Originally Posted by Nox noctis Umbra View Post
What defines who we are, really? most would say it is our past, the trials, the difficulties, the pleasures. Psycologists say that those with violent pasts, or more appropriately violent childhoods are often doomed to a violent life, culminating in either life in and out of the penal system, or a very violent death, often by police. But are they right? I think about this alot. I wonder if I would be the person I am today without the childhood of beatings. Would I be more successful, or more the failure? Would I have been in more trouble, or more of a play it safe person? Would I be more prone to anger and aggression, or be timid and shy? According to the experts I am classified as "one of the rare few who attempt to break the cycle" but are the rare few really so rare? From a statistical stand point by this point in my life, thanks to the past, and genetic disposition, I should be heavily involved in drugs, and alcohol, and be very prone to violent, and agressive actions towards those who seemingly provoke it. Nature vs. Nurture. Or is it the past that makes me keep my anger, my rage in check? Can this be any more confounding?
question: is the child shown on your post you? or is it your son?

It seems to me you are trying to understand yourself in relation to the upbringing you had... which you hint at. You say you have been badly physically abused as a child...

BUT...

you do not mention any positive experiences you had when you were young.

One positive experience can wipe out a lot of negative experiences...

maybe there was someone in your childhood that actually loved you or helped you in some way.

Try looking at all the postitive experiences of your childhood instead of allthe negative ones...

Then try and see if those positive experiences helped you overcome the negative ones.

Also: you speak of rage and anger.

You do not say whether you actually feel any such emotion.

If you are emotionally cut off from feeling any anger at how you were treated: that is one thing.

If you actually do feel anger and rage but are able to control it... that is an entirely different thing.

If you do not explain yourself more clearly: none here can have the slightest idea of what you are trying to get at.

If you do not want to divulge any more personal details here on this forum:

Then my previous post stands: discuss it with someone who knows you personally and whom you trust. Otherwise: your question is too vague to respond to in any meaningful way.
  
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