I'm so damn tired of this ...

I was raised in church, and I still have these goody-too shoes roots inside of me, and I want to get the fuck rid of them and devote myself to having the horniness in me instead of the holiness.

Long story short, I'm sick of the fundamentalist bullshit that says that what I can do is sit around and think about what I cannot do. I'm at the point where I know my body and the bodies of other adults were put on this earth for complete pleasure. I'm not talking about manipulating anyone. I'm talking about getting in touch with, and being filled by, that divine energy of insatiable horniness. I want the spirits to descend on me and use me while I sleep, and use me as a conduit to spread the horniness through the world, opposite of how I've tried to spread the holiness. I was raised in a Christian school and this is complete hypocritical bullshit for me to go on pretending I don't want this life of tantalizing myself and others.

I want to dream of this, eat, sleep, breathe it. I want to help repressed people be free and walk out of their prison, but I want to come out of my prison first. One thing I'd like to do is invent this pleasure device called "The Chamber" that's been in my mind for some time now, which is basically sealed like a coffin, and you climb inside, and someone shuts the lid and snaps it shut, the lights go out on you, and all these pleasure devices get activated to pleasure your restrained body. There will be a unit model for women, and one unit model for men. Who knows, maybe even one for couples or groups

There's this hot fetish lover inside of me which I want to unleash, and I want to be a conduit for the horny spirit's electricity. I feel this energy and person hovering over me while I lie down, and it's trying to love on me, wrap around me and come in me, and I desire this. I lie there and meditate on him [her]. It is so warm and tingly all over my body. I want to do whatever to open the floodgates to let this take over.

Many people have contributed very negative things, like wars, etc. I want this to be my major contribution to the world, that just like Thomas Edison brought us tangible electricity, I want to bring this erotic electricity to adults all over the place. I know that whoever could receive it would love it as much as I have. It is so euphoric and addictive that you zone out and are engulfed by his consciousness. DAMN, it's so sweet and addictive to you.

I want this "holy" spirit in me no longer. I need some horny spirits to lie with me. I need to spread some love around and help this world be a calmer place through release and through the stopping of suppression and the stopping of repression.

This is a serious inquiry. I'm not trying to play a joke.

Stephen