i actually rather enjoy dutchgothdiva's equating desire and fantasy, becasue i think it was a connection i had in the back of my mind which until now i hadn't been able to see clearly. hmmm... here we go...

fantasy, imagination, creativity, etc. are almost like a bridge between the exterior world and the interior self; while we 'desire' the necessities of life to continue living, that's not the same as desiring other things; knowledge, respect, love, understanding, etc. there are parallels between what we want due to our 'lower' nature (feed, mate, kill, repeat... or something) and what we want due to our 'higher' nature (enjoy a glass of wine, dancing with a lover, revenge, etc). what we need is thus a subset of what we want; we want what we need, but we don't necessarily need what we want. our animal instincts tell us what we need. how then do we know what we want?

i think experience, as dutchgothdiva stated, is key... as 666 stated, upbringing is functional as it gives us experiences. but no further. we are in part taught what we should believe, and in part we see what others do believe. we never know exactly how to feel, because we can never be sure if we understand others, or if they're telling us the truth. we must therefore extrapolate what is desirable from what we see, and then verify first hand that it is desirable by seeking it. desiring something can be one of two things: having a nagging suspicion that something is what you want, and needing to verify it; knowing from past experiences that something was good and wanting to experience it again.

so desire is, and this may seem like stating the obvious, but i hope to go somewhere with it, trying to feel good. sustaining ourselves is good because, one way or another, we know life is good from past experiences and want to keep it going. or, otherwise, it's the thought of fulfilling our desires before we die that keeps us going; the nagging suspicion, the perversion. one who truly has never fulfilled any desires and who has no hope of ever doing so has no reason to live. at most, the desire to avoid death will sustain him.

relating my current ideas to the title of the thread, it seems fancy is bred somewhere above the heart and below the head, or in both simultaneously. i'm sure though that there's more to desire than gratifying some basic instincts. and there's more to it than 'monkey see, monkey do'. desire is somewhere between curiosity and orgasm. it's a tease, and that's why desires really do disappear when you achieve them. the magic is lost, but it returns.

man's greater intellect allows him to experience a wider variety of desires than other animals; to experience more pleasure in gratifying them and more displeasure in being denied them. the desires we have which do not relate directly to the necessities of life are normally related to them, but such that they increase our desire. take kissing, appetizers, and jacuzzis. these things are superfluous, but many people still desire them. kissing heightens the desire for more physical activity, culminating in intercourse. appetizers heighten the desire for more food, which leads to nourishment. jacuzzis make us relax, which leads to feeling safe and secure. success makes us feel strong, which we associate with dominance. the list goes on and on.

what does everyone think? are any clarfications necessary? i wonder whether i make any sense at all sometimes.

in synthesis, the desires we have which are not the necessities of life are perverted extrapolations/interpretations of what we need based on what we know we need and what we see other people doing. our basic needs, however, are ingrained in our flesh. the rest comes from fantasy, as dutchgothdiva put it.