|
10-02-06
He and I have talked about how we feel about it. I've been seeing him for nearly a month now. No kissing, no hand holding, nothing. Neither of us are quite sure what to make of it all and don't want to do anything drastic. It's what he does and more importantly what he DOESN'T do that I really like about him. Exactly as you said, Jobe, he had all the opportunity to never tell me. How else would I know unless he was having an outbreak? I find myself running through this with the same few questions in mind.
1: Why do I like him so much...ie, why am I still considering this even though I know he has herpes? Is that something I really want to put myself through? Is that something I'm willing to put myself at risk of having?
2: Where would this be if the herpes thing either didn't exist or I was in the dark about it?
I know the answer to the second question and the answers I've come up with for the first one stems in two different directions. One being that he really must be great for being so forthcoming about everything in his life. Second is that maybe I just love the drama-- there is a reccurring pattern from past relationships that occurs here, in this situation, too. Do I really like him, or do I just like the drama of the situation? I feel like I haven't got much more time to sit on these questions.
I know I just have to figure it out for myself. It sucks that I have had to think so deeply about this.
I at least am glad I am not worried he's JUST trying to get in my pants. I hate when I realize that when I'm just starting to see a guy and I didn't pick up on it until like our 2nd or 3rd date. That always upsets me. I have nothing to say and I'm saying it |