Yes well I still can help it. I have mentioned the alcolholic stepmother that I had. Well naturally I do not wish to become like her, in the abuse, and the drinking, and all that, yet in the drinking I find that in some ways I am becoming somewhat like her. Now this is with only one type of alcohol, which is kind of confounding in itself, but when I do drink, I have found that I tend to hit the Everclear a lot harder that I would generally admit to. Or used to anyways. The only thing that stops me from drinking more than what I already do, is the fact that I get so fucked up, so fucking drunk, that I cannot see straight, I cannot talk, I can't even fucking move, and end up passing out. I realize that if it wasn't for my metabolism, that stuff would have killed my by now, yet when I drink it, I cannot stop. I don't have a problem stopping with vodka or whiskey, my two primary favorite liquers, but no matter how hard I try to stop with everclear, I cannot. What really scares me, and this does go back to the nature/nurture thing I was talking about, is that my mom's side of the family has suffered from some sort of chemical dependancy of some sort, and now that I sit here and think about it, my daughter may suffer the same pull, and that scares the hell out of me. I am beggining to realize how my parents must feel.