Well, upon gathering at whatever house it is the families are all at, the family promptly devides into two. These two factions then start a war. There will be behind-the-back conversations, subtle comments made, and at least one person will "freak-out" which includes, but is not limited to: crying, cussing, hitting, throwing, burning, raging, storming, and destroying.

Then comes the drinking that is a must at all family events (at least in my family). It's always the same things: two fifths of R&R, one big thing of crown royal, 2 fifths of Jack, and one thing of some flavored vodka. Contrary to popular family lore, the liquor helps nothing. People's tounges become more loose, the jokes become just a bit to hard, and some amount of food will get ruined.

Now the feast starts, where upon the most chaos comes. In a family mainly dominated by females (me and my brother are the only two males of our generation, we have like 12 girls to contend with) dinner is something akin to a civil war. Some want the gravy this way, some want no gravy, and others just want some fuckin' gravy period. The ham/turkey is never going to satisfy everyone, and people (mainly me) get yelled at for eating small things, like black olives. I usually disappear out back for some X-mas bowls to ease my nerves.

I reappear in time for presents, which is actually the most enjoyable part of the evening. At this point the two factions are sitting no where near each other, and everyone is in somewhat of a subdued nature after the freak-out person freaked out earlier. Presents are exchanged - where upon we find that people didn't buy for everyone, or just bought for certain people, etc. etc. This starts the second war. This is usually where I leave.