i really need to get myself not to be so depressed. that i need to learn how to make myself happy. i need to find love within myself first before i can use it and express that kind of love for that somebody. i need to take better care of myself. instead of not really taking care of myself all too well.

what i want for another person. i don't know if it's such a good idea or not for that one person to hang out with me for the way i carry myself as a person. because of how it would make her be and feel from it. all i want for that one person is to have something that is decent and that would mean well with her. because this person will know who i'm speaking of as a matter of fact. just as soon as she feast her eye's on what she is reading by kendra herself. i want to know what is best for her? when it would come to hanging out with kendra. because this is her choice. i don't want her to feel miserable, hurt, or frustrated by anything of the sort. because of what i said from up above on what i need for myself as a person. i do of course care so much for her. i seriously understand and know that she does love me alot. our friendship will last forever and always. nothing is breaking that up though. she will always be my friend. all i am doing is wanting her to have something that is decent and she know's that she can. because it's out of my best wishes. even if she does decide she wants to stay with me. that is still fine. your in my heart cassandra.

i'm having tears roll down my face and so i better stop.