Gurgling, gasping, silence.
Mommy's body which once twisted and shook
Now is motionless and still.
No! No! NO!
I scream silently in my head.
My mind not able to understand.
The fear! The confusion!
Tears which come and cloud my vision.
She was ok before.
Why did she fall?
Why did she shake?
Why is she so still?
I look at my small 5 yr old hands.
The T.V. has mommy's soap on it.
Someone else is still too....
My hands reach out to touch my mom.
Mimicking what the man did on T.V.
I don't have the things the man is holding.
It won't work!
Yes it will!
I press my hands on mommy's chest.
Trying to push my life into hers.
My mind no longer confused and scared.
Empty of all but one thought.
Live mommy, Live mommy, Live mommy..
Chanting it,
Preying it,
Ordering it,
Willing it.
She twitches
Gasping reaches my ears over my roaring blood
She rolls over to her side, coughing
Her eyes were cloudy and confused.
The man on the T.V. starts crying
I glance back at mommy
Her eyes cleared as they meet mine.
It's ok mommy, I'll take care of you.
The promise made
The understanding clear.
The roles reversed.
It's ok mommy, I'll take care of you.