For the second time in as many weeks, I've been subjected to grunts and moans from a stall in the women's bathroom.

I work in a beautiful office complex. Manicured lawns... fountains... spacious offices with tasteful decor.. dozens of little Mexicans to do our bidding. The women's bathroom is awesome. We have carpeting and couches, fresh flowers and scented soap.

So here I am, fiddling with the clasp on my brand-new EXPENSIVE cashmere slacks. And this woman is going "arghhhhhhhhhh..... uhhhhhhhhhhhh...... ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh...........", then I hear *plop*. Silence. *plop*. Silence. *plop plop*.


The SMELL. MY GOD, THE SMELL. I can't wear this outfit again. I have to shave my head. I STILL SMELL IT NOW.