I expected backlash, and I'm fine with it. Even though I'm unstable, venting has been very good. This is the kind of shit I keep, and have long kept, bottled up inside.
Change. I'm thinking of admitting myself back into the psych ward. That may soun melodramatic, but when I was there before for the three days, it felt so refreshing due to it being such a huge change of scenery. The doctors wanted me to stay for a few weeks at least, but I had been desperate for some reason to get out. "It seems I've made a miraculous recovery" was what I said to them. I was in a complete trance.
I have to get out of my house. Away, from everything for a while. They called me and encouraged me to re-admit whenever I'm feeling...unwell.
I got nowhere else to go. 'Go to a friend's place', you might say. Don't have anyone close by. So...yeah.