All the patients on the teenage girl's unit right now pretty much on the same wavelength. They're all cutters, all girly, all of them love the disney channel and Good Charlotte. They're all borderline or bi-polar, depressed and looking for attention. Many of them are repeats. It's a sad face you see near christmas on every patient in a mental hospital.

There's only one girl that doesn't quite mix with the others and that's Tammy. She's been to the hospital eleven times in the last two years. She tall, fat, black, lesbian short hair, and doesn't play well with others. If one were to say that she's annoying they would be entirely accurate, but in every sense but the professional one. One should simply say that she's a handful.

We had a cookout today at work - hamburgers, hotdogs, soda, and chilli cheese fries. It's seriously the yummiest, most American and unhealthy thing you can eat. I was absolutely stuffed, as were we all. It's a common rule that no patients are to use the restroom 30 minutes after dinner, lest some unknown purging occur. The large sink in the corner - the kind you see in public schools; semicircle, foot peddle wrapped around the bottom - is right next to the restroom. I sat at a table with Tammy. She finished her meal first and got up to throw her trash away and wash her hands She returned to her seat and asked if she could use the restroom. I told her no, of course. About ten minutes later, she got up to wash her hands again. Remembering that they aren't allowed to get up during meals without permission, I told her to "Have a seat. You've already washed you hands." She replied "No I haven't."

I shrugged and kept eating my hotdog. ;X lol I could hear my coworker behind my back, telling Tammy to sit down. I turned around to see that she'd tried to make for the bathroom after she washed her hands. She was standing in the open frame of the restroom, refuting that she'd ever tried to sneak in through the door with "No I didn't." As she came to sit back down, I could see she was laughing to herself.

We took the girls to the rec area. As the other girls ran for the pool tables, ping pong paddles, and the tv, Tammy immediately tried to buy a snack. We told her that she couldn't get one and she got pissed off. I sat on the couch and picked through a stack of Highlights, looking for the black and white cartoon of hidden pictures. My coworker sat next to me, telling Tammy to stay away from the vending machines every few minutes. lol....she really couldn't get it into her head that she wasn't being slick. I turned around once and saw her fucking with the payphone.

45 minutes after dinner was over, she asked to use the restroom again. I took her back to the unit and let her into the bathroom. I secured the lock and let the heavy door slam shut. I then put my key back into the slot and slowly unlocked it again, turning the handle smoothly and pulling the door open a crack. The bathrooms open into a small corridor, a sharp 90 degree turn to the left or right, and a larger area for the toilet. In the large round mirror in the top corner at the end of the corridor, I could see that Tammy was bent over on her knees, her head practically in the toilet. I smiled to myself and opened the door an inch or two wider, so my voice would carry and loudly inquired "You're not making yourself throw up are you?!" She jumped up and said "What?" and then scrambled onto her feet, walking over to the corridor and looking around the corner. "I didn't do nothing." She went back and sat on the toilet this time. I could hear that she wasn't pissing. She wiped anyway and washed her hands. I decided at this point that I hated this lying bitch and I didn't even look her in the face again as we walked back to the rec area and sat down to my stack of Highlights.

Then again, after night meds, she asked to use the restroom, knowing full well that she couldn't for 30 minutes. I reminded her and she got kinda pissed. I started showers and was standing in the hygiene room doorway when she approached me and said "Excuse me." I knew her clothes were in the washer, so I stepped aside. Instead of going to the washer though, she stepped over to the sink and immediately threw up in it. In the same instance, I stepped forward to stop her hand from turning on the facuet. I didn't make it in time though. What a disgusting bitch. I walked straight to the nurse's station and told the Charge Nurse. This crazy bitch threw up her medication.

It was about this time that I heard about a repeat that was coming back. When she was here, she was a cutter. She stayed in her room all day and slept. Sometimes when she came out to use the restroom, she'd come back to find that her door was locked, forcing her to engage in activities. She had a nasty mouth and she was kinda fucking crazy. That's all I remembered about her. She was coming back to us this time for self injurous behavior and assault. She'd been fighting with her mother. She'd last left the facility about 4 months ago and now she was pregnant. The Charge Nurse told me all this and ended her small speech with "She's psychotic." She's named Torie.

The girls watched some teeny movie with Hilary Duff in it and drew the staff pictures. Tammy sat in the corner coloring. When the girls were finally in bed we'd just made 3 of them move to new rooms and they were making new friends now. I had to go around with a flashlight a few times and ask the girls to be quiet. Tammy kept poking her head out of her room and asking to use the restroom. Once it's lights out, they can't leave their rooms. She'd pop her head out a few minutes later and ask to get a drink of water, go check on her clothes in the dryer, see if she left something in the dayroom, fucking bullshit!!!1!1

This was still going on when Torie was brought onto the unit. The nurse told us that she doesn't want to be pregnant. She's been trying to hurt herself and when her mother had brought her back to us, she'd assaulted her mother in the admission waiting room. They'd placed her in a chair and wheeled her straight over. We heard the unit doors slam and the jingle of keys approaching. Two security officers wheeled Torie onto the unit in a restraint chair. There was a blanket draped over her. She looked really pissed off and she'd gained some weight - was visibly pregnant. She had long beautiful brown hair to the middle of her back last I'd seen her, but now she's shaved her head clean bald. She's on 1:1 24 hours a day - even in her sleep - for self injurous behavior and assault. Because she's pregnant, we can't give her any kind of medication. I wouldn't even trust the bitch with a spork.