What a fucking day.

I came into work in high spirits. I heard during the cross-shift meeting that Samantha was being herself all day - needy, stuck in a loop, constantly up in people's faces. They'd had to restrain and medicate her. When I came on the children's unit, we only had three staff, but only five kids. Fucking sound. I was to be Samantha's 1:1, in fact I was fucking pyched and enthused to do so. My coworker said she wouldn't get up and go to rehab. "Shit..I'll get her up. Watch this." I said.

I entered her room and saw that she was on her bed with her blanket over her head. I started singing and wailing at her "Samaaaaaaaaaaaaaantha. Wake up. Rehab rehab rehab yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay rehab! Funnest time of the day!" I pulled the blanket off her head and sat on the bed, bouncing up and down and pushing on her body rocking it back and forth all playful like. She was smiling and giggling at me. I told her I was to be her 1:1 and she immediately got up, saying I was her favorite staff. I got her in line and we went to the minikitchen for recreational therapy. Samantha's doctor came and got her to speak with her. I sat and watched the kids play "The Unfair Game" which consisted of cards, dice, and candy. One kid who's autistic and REALLY annoying was having a hard time playing, but he was able to get through it. The point of it was to not freak out, so he handled it alright in that respect.

Samantha returned with her doctor and announced to everyone in the room "I'm off 1:1!" Fucking lush I thought. I did the necessary paperwork and after rehab we all went outside to the playscape area. I was sitting on a bench, playing with sand with my feet when an RN approached me, saying they needed me on the teenage girl's unit for the rest of the day.

WHY ME. WHY. Sad Fucking catty dramatic bitches, the lot of them. I thought about heading out to the front and having a quick smoke beforehand, but decided against it and headed straight there. When I arrived, they were all lining up for recreational therapy; the same class the kids had just attended.

There were four staff on the teenage girl's unit, and 12 patients. One staff and one patient were placed in the music room though - the girl was a danger to her peers and had to be isolated there. The girls lined up and we took them to the gym.

The gym is in the "school" of the hospital. You have to walk through the school to get through it, past the water fountains and restrooms. The gym isn't very large. One side has about 5-6 chairs off to one side where the staff normally sit to observe the rehab session and yell across the room at girls to behave for whatever reason. A coworker and I were already sitting when the girls came walking in and sat in a circle on the floor, as is custom for the patients when coming into the gym. I saw one girl walk in and look around. She promptly turned and walked back out. I thought for a moment that she had decided to use the restroom or get a drink of water, but her expression as she exited made me feel uneasy about that guess.

I turned to my coworker and said "Did you see that? Shelly just walked back out....." We both got up and went to the door. Another coworker was still in the hallway. I could hear her talking loudly, barking out commands at Shelly. The other staff with me exited the gym. I stood close to the door, looking through the window between the gym and hallway, watching the exchange between staffs and patient. She was pacing around and waving her arms wildly. The other girls were sitting on the floor looking at the recreational therapist. Her games repeat every month or so, and I'd seen this one done a few times before. She was trying to explain a game of basketball that was to be played with a frisbee. Every once in awhile, she'd cast an uneasy glance at me as she shakily told the girls the same speech I'd her her give 4-5 times before.

As the voices in the hallway grew louder, her glances became more frequent as I moved closer to the door, wondering whether I should leave the recreational therapist with 10 mentally ill teenage girls or help my two coworkers in the hall. One of them entered the gym and picked up a walkie. As she jogged back out into the hallway, I could hear her radio-ing the nurse and any available staff to the school. She asked them to bring the restraint chair with them.

Through the window, I saw more people entering from outside, careful to keep her away from the open door as staff came pouring in. I didn't see the rest of what happened, because I honestly didn't care. I went and sat in one of the chairs and watched the girls play basketball-frisbee.

When rehab was over, the girls and I returned to the unit. I was told at this point that Shelly was placed on 1:1 and I was to be the lucky candidate to take care of her. In the hallway, she had apparently been hallucinating, waving her arms around and talking nonsensicle. When they asked her what was wrong, all she could do was make hand motions and breathe heavily. She had been able to walk back to the unit on her own, without restraint. She had lain on her bed and willingly taken the shot of Zyprexa. She was asleep now.

The girls lined up and went to dinner. I stayed on the unit, pulled a chair up to Shelly's door, watching her sleep. An RN came in and told me that her parents were here to visit her. We awoke her with great effort and got her to brush her hair. Don't want her looking like a fucking heathen while the 'rents are here, now do we?

I walked her down to the visiting area and her dinner tray was brought to her there. Three people entered through the front door. One apparently her mother, one her father, and one her grandmother. Her parents sat to either side of her on the three seater couch. I sat across from them - a good 10-15 feet away - to give them some privacy. Her grandmother chose to sit next to me.

As she talked to me, I could see that she had a large laceration which appeared quite infection on her wrist. (The upperside, not the meaty veiny underside) I could also see the side of her sagging bra-less breast through the holes to either side of her sleaveless shirt. What kinda fucking grandmother are you, lady? She spoke to me quietly, mostly about the mother who was RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. She spoke about discipline, and Shelly's lack of it. She spoke about what a terrible mother she had. She also spoke with me about all the terrible medication Shelly'd been placed on. They didn't believe in medication - they wanted to solve her problems using herbal remedies. WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT.

Her father spoke with me for a short bit. He was a few cans short of a six pack, if you get my drift. Kinda...stupid...he looked like a redneck and so did his saggy tittied mother.

Thankfully, they left after about 15 minutes. I sat and watched Shelly's mother take almost every item of makeup out of her purse and put it on Shelly's face. She smeared face cream all over her, put zit cream in the appropriate places, french braided her hair, etc. My favorite part was when Shelly opened her mouth like a baby bird as her mother delicately painted lipstick onto her cracked, chapped lips. Shelly's mother left.

I took Shelly to the diningroom to put up her now empty tray. She was talking like a baby the entire time she was with her parents. Now that she was with me, she was talking nonsensicle. Her father had brought a bag for her, full of clothes and things. Inside was a large brown teddybear.

For the rest of the day, she sat in the dayroom in front of the tv with her bear, all the while stroking it. She held it like a baby, petting it's head, holding it's hand, talking to it. At bed time, I pulled up a chair to her room and began drawing, waiting for her to go to sleep so I could get up and get some actual work done.

They're to be in bed by 9pm, but lights out is officially 9:30. Shelly was reading when it hit 9:30 and the lights were turned off. She began wailing and rocking back and forth. I told her that if she couldn't control her behavior and calm herself down that we would have to control her behavior for her and get her some medication. She agreed to calm down and got up from her bed. She lay on the floor and began doing yoga. I sat and watched, even commending her on her efforts to calm down. She then started doing some kinda..karate/tai chi shit; kicking at the air and pushing energy in certain directions. I told her that she should stop, that the kicks she was doing weren't considered "calming down." She then exited her room and came into the dayroom.

We immediately called the nurse, who brought her a shot. She began crying when she saw the blue box containing a shot. We called for some male staff to assist us in herding her back to her room while she babbled nonsensicly, gripping on her shirt, and breathing quickly and heavily. She lay on her bed without restraint and received the shot.

After everyone left, we left her light on and I sat in my chair again by the door. She cried and cried after the shot. At this point, I'd gotten ahold of some baby carrots that a coworker didn't want. I was staring at Shelly, loudly chewing and crunching on my carrots. She sat on her bed, holding her bear at arm's length, muttering to it, strangling it and punching it's head. I had to chew my carrots slowly in order to slow down the crunching and hear what she was saying. She then put the bear on the bed and began crushing it's body into the mattress. I talked to her for a short bit about her mother and she calmed down, laying down again.

In a few minutes though, she began swinging her legs around in bed. She got up and began pacing the room. She began throwing herself against the wall, banging her heard on the wall, all the while, muttering to herself. She said demons were telling her to kill herself. Fucking. Idiotic. She came into the dayroom again and refused to return to her room. As I tried to push her back into her room, she hit me in the chest. There were only three staff on the unit now - two MHW's (including myself) and a nurse. All of us female, all under 25 and quite lightweight.

As we held her down, she talked nonsense, trying to bite us, trying to scratch us. The other MHW and nurse were able to contain her as I went to get the stretcher. I placed it on the floor next to her and prepared the restraints. She began writhing and screaming wildly when she saw it. This was all at 11pm at night, 15 minutes before it was time to go home. Neutral

We called a male staff to help us get her onto the stretcher. He was of no help, so we called another as well. The five of us were able to get her onto the stretcher and wheel her into the quiet room. At this point, I was covered in sweat and shaking from the stress of the whole ordeal. My arms were killing me, from holding her arms and legs down as they kicked and waved through the air. Once some one is in restraint and in the quiet room, some one must be at the door the entire time. There was no time to get a chair, so I sat on the floor and was still there when night shift came in to relieve me.