Let's see:

We can't eat tuna because of pollution
We can't eat chips cos of cancer
We can't eat cheese cos of cholesterol
We can't eat sweets cos of the sugar
We can't eat tomatoes cos they're too acidic
We can't eat babies cos it's illegal
We can't eat MacDonalds cos they have tumours in em
We can't drink coffee, cos of the caffeine

I'm off to slit my wrists.