To be honest Neena, it sounds just like every long term relationship I know of.
Most of my friends who are married with kids have periods of pulling their hair out, and I think these are good, as these are the periods of adjustment where you lay down the blue prints, or pull each other out of lazy bad habits.

My friend has been married for 15 years and she recently had to sit her husband down and read him the riot act, and they had a month of trying to get each other to understand where each other was coming from, and I spent a whole day listening to her woes, but he made an effort ( it was the same thing, he never wanted to go anywhere or do anything, and she's German and wants to see some of England) and then realised how nice these family days out can be once you're bothered.

I really think this is normal, these things aren't easy, and as you both seem able and willing to work at this, your love will see you through.

I really do wish the pair, or rather the three of you, the best.