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lusankya is Offline
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06-08-05

So, how's my writing style for this one?


I'll put the rest of what I've written up now. I already know that my setting isn't what you'd call original, but I was never trying to make the vampiriness a secret. My focus is more on the contrast between the monster in the man and the human in the monster than on any vampirey-fighting stuff. I thought my idea might work better if the monsters were obviously monsters (to the audience at least). Hence the typical setting.

V

With midwinter approaching, balls were being held almost every night as rival lords attempted to gather the largest crowd at their own midwinter celebration. Matthew went to these balls alone, Geoffrey still being ill. It had been almost two weeks since the night of the attack and he was still showing no signs of improvement.


During the day, he would visit Geoffrey and tell him of his evenings. Geoffrey seemed to enjoy hearing of the parties, but the vampire’s sickness was robbing him of his health. He was becoming increasingly pale and occasionally he would look as though he were about to faint, despite the fact that he was lying in his bed.


Because Geoffrey was bedridden, it surprised Matthew no end when on one occasion, it was Geoffrey who was giving him news.


“Madame Josephine is pregnant,” Geoffrey told Matthew happily. “I’m going to have a brother!”


“A brother?” Matthew asked. “Have they already asked the priests to divine it?” Divining the sex of a child was an unusual move, and was generally only undertaken by older childless lords. Matthew looked at his friend’s smiling face and wondered if he realised that his father may have given him up for dead.


“Yes. I thought it was odd at first, but Madame Josephine just couldn’t wait to find out.” Geoffrey said. “I don’t mind. When mother died, I thought I’d never have any brothers or sisters, but now I’m finally getting one!”


“That’s good news, then,” Matthew said, Geoffrey’s explanation quietening his fears somewhat.


“Oh, Hello, Father Pontsfrey,” Geoffrey said suddenly, looking behind Matthew.


Matthew looked back. The tall Exorcist who was overseeing Geoffrey’s treatment always seemed to arrive without warning. Behind him stood an acolyte carrying the equipment for the treatment.


“Good afternoon, Master Paige,” said Father Pontsfrey. “Are you ready for your treatment?”


“As ready as ever.” Geoffrey said. He glanced at Matthew. “Uh, can Matthew stay? I think I’d like it if he were here.”


“He can stay if he wishes. The good will of friends can often help to speed the demon away.” The priest opened the bag and took out a small vial. He poured a small amount of a foul-smelling liquid into a glass and handed it to Geoffrey.


“What is it?” Matthew asked as Geoffrey drank the concoction.


“It’s a mixture of garlic and quicksilver. Both are inimical to vampires and will help your friend’s body to reject the demon,” said the priest. He took two candles and placed them at the head of the bed, praying over each of them in turn.


“It tastes worse than it smells,” Geoffrey told Matthew. “Be glad that no vampire’s bitten you.”


“I am,” said Matthew. “I don’t think I could swallow that stuff.”


“That’s not the worst of it, either,” said Geoffrey. “Watch this.”


Geoffrey offered his arm to the Exorcist who had taken out a long hollow needle with a tube attached to it. Father Pontsfrey inserted the needle into Geoffrey’s vein and watched the blood as it came out into an empty measuring container. When the container measured a pint of blood, the priest removed the needle and bandaged Geoffrey’s arm.


“You’re taking more this time?” Geoffrey asked.


“Yes, Master Paige. We’re increasing the treatment from now on, in hope that the demon will be exorcised more quickly. I hope you’re saying your prayers.”


“I am, Father.”


“That’s good. Now, get some rest.”


“Yes, Father. I’m feeling sleepy anyway.” Geoffrey lay back and closed his eyes. Soon he was breathing evenly in sleep.


The Exorcist shook his head, sadly. “You’ll never be cured like that, my son,” he whispered. “May the Lord watch over you while you sleep and drive out the demon within you. Amen.”


Matthew also prayed for his friend, who looked weaker after his treatment than he had before. He hoped that the prayers of himself and the priest would be sufficient to gain the Lord’s attention when Geoffrey’s strength had been too little for him to pray himself.


The Exorcist arose. “Come,” he said to Matthew. “It’s best to let your friend rest in peace now.”


Matthew nodded and followed him out of the room, leaving Geoffrey behind alone.


“Why do you need to draw the blood from him?” he asked.


“The majority of the demonic essence that a vampire infects a victim with runs through the victim’s blood. By drawing the blood from your friend, we are also removing the demon from him.”


“Isn’t that dangerous?” Matthew asked.


“Yes, it is,” the priest admitted. “But it’s better to attempt to exorcise the demon than to allow his soul to be damned without fighting for it.”
  
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