Well I have a problem, but then don't we all. My father is ill.... terminally ill. He has a brain tumor, among other problems. Over the past few years I have watched him deal with the pain that this has caused him, and it seemed that he was atleast at a stalemate with it. However recently it seems that he has taken a turn for the worse. He was recently able to get all of his meds, now that the state has said it will help, but I fear that it maybe too little too late. I have spent the past 5 years trying to prepare for this time, but I now find that I don't think that I can. Along with having to watch my father suffer and deterriorate, I also have the responsibility for the the emotional crutch for my younger siblings when the find out what is going on with him, and ultimately, when he passes, and I don't know if I can handle it. It pains me to see him the way he is now, not being able to do anything about it. He often speaks of suicide, just to end the pain that he suffers, and I find myself unable to say "No don't do that". I don't want to see him in such pain, yet I do not want him to die, even though death would be a release from his pain. Sometimes I wish I were oblivious to what was going on with him, but then I maybe worse off than I am now. I don't know..... I am at a loss for what to do. I have dealt with the loss of members of my extended family.... but this is the first time I have to deal with the death of someone who is very close and important to me..... one of the few people in my life who wouldn't let me quit, who would give up on me, and in the end, I cannot repay him, only watch him die.