14 months is young to start any major program. I'm sure loads of people will disagree, but I remember trying 'time outs' and the like at that age, and she had no idea what I was doing. She got into my bag and ripped up some money once, and I told her no and made her sit on the bottom step, and she just got up, and I kept telling her to sit back down, and she wouldn't stay, they just don't get it. I tapped her on the hand and she didn't register I'd done anything. Just looked at me.

Rewarding good behaviour is the way to go, but at 14 months, as you know, they can't really tell the difference between good and bad, and explaining doesn't help, they just look at you blankly. I made my face harsh (tone didn't work, she was deaf as a baby) and tried to discourage her, and once she was coming up two, I was able to make her understand.

I think the key to punishment is that it has to count. My daughter would now happily sit on a naughty step for hours, she's probably just sing to herself or take a nap. Our disapproval upsets her, but not enough to make her not do things again. She has a sticker chart for good behaviour, and major bad behaviour results in toy removal. I tell her, just when she's really getting too much and won't behave, that it she continues the 'Playmobil' or 'My Little Pony' box will end up in the garage for a week. That works, as well as TV depravation.

I don't think you're being too soft Neena, she's still just a baby, now is the time for hard words and head shaking, she won't truly grasp much else. The things she's doing are 'innocent' naughty things, things that she needs teaching about. I save punishment for deliberate 'disobedient' naughty things.