I think you're (deliberately?) missing Neena's point, Sybs. Answer this question: would you prefer to look like you look now, or some "typical fat chick" ?...now we all know the answer to that. We all know aesthetics is important to us. It's vanity to various degrees. No one wants to have sex with someone that they have to always be looking deep within to that person to convince themselves that this is the right person for them.

Everyone knows personality is a trillion times more important. If you don't, then you'll end up in shallow relationships for the rest of your life. And you won't get any pity from me if you're that kind of person....

The one thing I agree with you (Sybs) is that no one should ever change for someone, but self-improvement that leads to growth in confidance is something entirely different. And however odd it might seem, there are enough couples out there that I see (my 65 yr old male dentist I saw at the bar was one of them!!) that can attract "hot" women and such. Granted, it's probably due to money, but whatever.

Take Celine Dion and her 60 year old husband. I'm sure we all have this collective opinion that it's a shallow perverted relationship, but we really don't know that as a fact, do we? For my arguements sake, lets consider it as a sound relationship since they have been together for "forever" after all....

Another thing. It's not personality that is attractive and neither is it looks as much as confidance. Confidance is so.. I dunno.. it's AMAZING. I know a lot of people that get a partner that is "so out of their league" and it's all due to their confidance. There is no "league"...that's all in your mind. It's an illusion. People are sluts for attention and love for the most part. Doesn't matter how hot or ugly you are. I've come to conclusions (at times) that the prettier a girl is, the easier she is to hop in bed with you...mainly cause this world is so overrun by lust and hormones and when a girl thinks that all she has going for her is her looks...that's all she is capable of selling......it's sad. But we all love pr0n, right? So, that's not gonna end any time soon...

My "final" opinion is loosely this: I'm claiming that as long as you're not carrying around excessive amounts of unattractive physical traits (as long as you're not truly ugly) and as long as you're an overall nice person and yadda yadda...couple that with confidance...you can get pretty much any person you want that isn't caught up in racial barriers, social class barriers, and all other stupid mental blocks that shallow people restrict themselves with. But that's just it...we're all caught up in being self-absorbed (vanity, self-pity, narcissism, etc...take your pick) that we let all sorts of great people pass us by.

Kudos to all the strong relationships out there.