Well if you don't want to shave it off, then stop plaing with it yourself, that always causes damage. Let a salon take care of it. There is this chick nearby who has/dad discusting hair, so curly it looked like an afro, and reddish in color, she obviously hated it because after a couple years of seeing her this way, all of the sudden it was perfectly strait, and brown. Its been this new look for about 1.5 years now, looks very thick and healty, and very nice. I actually never thought it possible to straiten such curly hair. My point, if you cannot fix it yourself, wich is usually not easy in cases like yours, let a salon do it, home products are obviously just not the same.

ps: you are not mean, you're just a bitch