My mother in law starts conversations.

"Oohh, you're out. Well, I was just thinking about coming to visit....what will you be doing in July?....and you know about so and so dying, yeah, shame, only seventy eight, that's no age, is it?...had a lot of rain here...tomatoes are looking good......"

Then I ring back and have to hear it all again as my husband is an expert at avoiding his mother.