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Originally Posted by >FuckDoll< like you're EVER on yours...  |
yeah, really.
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Originally Posted by >FuckDoll< Well poo poo on you all. I like it. Quite a bit actually, but of course I like the 'rougher side of poetry' so, go figure. Only thing I'd do is chop that 3rd stanza on out, it breaks the flow, and in the 4th stanza, add the word 'all' after 'It's'. |
Note: Quiet sucks at poetry. Quiet is much better at writing lyrics that go with songs.
That poem is so loosely tied together to me that I don't like it, myself. I could see how it might be appreciated by those who like "rougher poetry" in which I translate that to mean "rough imagery"..?
And replacing "It's" with "All" does sound a lot better. It feels more direct.