here it is, post some jokes. good, bad, corny, disgusting, racial, i don't care. but here's a **warning: if you are easily offended or don't like to laugh, then don't read this thread.** with that being said, i'll start...


i told my girlfriend i wanted to fuck her between the tits. she said 'how you gonna make that feel good for me?' i told her 'well, when i come, i'll stop punching you in the face!"


whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bath tub?

one has hope in her soul...


whats the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds....

....there is twenty of them.



what's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

christopher reeve in a house fire.




a girl comes home from school...

"mommy, today we did counting at school and all the other kids could only count up to five but I could count to ten! is it because i'm blonde, mommy?"

"yes, darling. it's because you're blonde."

the girl comes home from school the following day...

"mommy! guess what? today we were doing the alphabet and all the other kids could only go as far as 'g' but i went as far as 'm'. is it because i'm blonde, mommy?"

"yes darling, it's because you're blonde."

the girl comes home the day after that....

"mommy, today we were doing gym and all the other girls had flat chests, but i had these....", the girl pulls up her top to reveal a stunning set of 36D breasts....

"is it because i'm blonde, mommy?"

"no, dear. it's because you're 25."



what's the difference between pink and purple?

your grip.



a girl approaches her father and asks him if she can have ten dollars to go to the movies. "sure you can," he says, "but you're going to have to suck my dick first."
so the girl starts sucking her dad's dick and after a few cursory licks looks up at him with a disgusted look on her face. "dad, your dick kind of tastes like shit."
"yeah," he says, "earlier your brother asked if he could borrow the car."


a white man walks into a bar and says to the black bartender. "nigger,
get me a beer." the bartender replies, "excuse me?" "did you not hear
me? i said 'nigger get me a beer.'" the bartender, now very upset,
says, "don't you feel that you should talk like that in this day and
age." "i will if i want to," said the white man. "i'm the one ordering."
the bartender says, "how would you feel if we changed places?" the white
man agrees and goes behind the counter. the black man, now the customer
says, "cracker jack asshole, get me a beer". the white man turns to the
black man and says, "we don't serve niggers!"


who is the greatest jewish cook ever?

hitler.


what do u do when someone is having a seizure in a bath tub?

throw dirty laundry in.



there's a black guy, a puerto rican guy and a mexican in a car, who's driving?

the police.



what's the cuban national anthem?

row, row, row your boat...



how come there aren't any puerto rican's in star trek?

'cause they don't work in the future either.



how long does it take a french woman to shit?

9 months.




how do you know if you have a high sperm count?

she has to chew before she swallows!




what do you call a black man who uses a condom?

a crimestopper.




how do you fix a woman's watch?

you don't, there's a clock on the oven.




a black lady has 12 sons, and names each of them robert. when asked if that was confusing, she said, "not really. i just call 'em all by their last names."



how do you know if a chink robbed your house?

your homework is done, the computer is upgraded, but two hours later the mother fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway!




what's got two legs and bleeds?

half a dog..




what is a redneck virgin?

a seven year old girl that can run faster than her brothers.