I haven't done one of these in awhile...I'm so tired by the time I get home...

OH yesterday. I arrived on the little kids unit and did the shift checks. This means you go around and make sure all the fucking doors are locked. Surprisingly enough, at least 3 or 4 are usually open. (fuck you day shift) I started the paperwork and realized that I was going to be put on a 1:1 with the lovable Tyler.

Tyler's 11. He's short, he's fat, he's half mexican half black. He shits his pants on a regular basis (he's suspected of purposefully doing it to get out of situations i.e. school, rehab, etc). He has an Axis II of mental retardation, but the rest of the staff and myself can see nothing of this. He's very manipulative, very smart, plays stupid, and has the mouth of a sailor when he's angry. He can also dance a mean robot when he's in a good mood. He's a fucking character.

So there I is, sitting at the staff table, and David's standing next to me...staring at the tv. I tell him to go sit down and he doesn't respond. I tell him a second time and he doesn't respond and he's standing WAY too close to my chair for comfort. Just then, some one comes out of the nurse's station and he goes dashing in through the open door. It seems the little prick has been waiting for just the oppurtunity. Crafty bugger. I go running after him and get there just in time to see him jumping up to try to grab the bag of toys on the top shelf. I grab him, trying to get his hands and put him in a personal hold and he fucking SLAPS me! Without a word, he exits the room and grabs my fucking water bottle off the staff table. The other staff grab it from him and he runs into his room.

I follow him and get to his doorway just in time to see him lay on his back on the bed. In his hands is a long rolled up piece of paper. He attaches one end to his crotch and begins to swing it around. The entire reason why he's on 1:1 precautions is for being sexually inappropriate, so I tell him to stop or he's going to the quiet room. He doesn't stop, so I go over and grab it from his hands. He jumps up and hits me again and tries to grab it. I tell him "well...now you lost the paper." I rip it in half and he screams "YOU.....MOTHER....FUCKER!" :X I was trying so hard not to laugh. Then he crawls under his bed onto his stomach and starts humping the floor saying "yeah baby..yeah baby..ride it ...yeah baby." All the while he's looking over at me grinning. I figure he's just doing it for attention and ignore him. Meanwhile, I'm jotting all this down on me clipboard o' doom.

I look up from my paper and see that he's now turned over onto his back and he's unzipped his pants, gingerly playing with his inch long wiener. "OK, Tyler. You're going to the quiet room now." He doesn't stop. I call for another staff to come help me because the fucker's so fat. We drag him out from under the bed. Myself and the other staff member each have one shoulder and one side of his pants to hold them up. When we exit the room with him, we have to take him by the other kids who have been lined up to be taken off the unit in case Tyler gets violent, which he does often.

Once he's put in the quiet room, he slams his body against the door over and over again. Even though he's 11, and short, the kid weighs more than I do. With each slam of his body, I'm thrown back from the door, but I have to push my weight back on it causing it to slam repeatedly. Another staff comes up to help hold the door shut (we're not allowed to lock it without a nurse present). When she looks through the glass window in the door and sees him standing there, pantless and grinning, she says to him "You think it's cool doing this? You think it's cool that you're naked and everyone saw you?" He screams back "I'm not naked!" and pulls his shirt off too. "Now! I'm naked." He starts dancing around the room and humming. The other staff leaves the door to go call a nurse. I look through the window and tell him "Y'know...you're getting a shot now. This behavior calls for a shot, Tyler." He's standing there, buck naked, slapping his crotch over and over again, just grinning at me.

The nurse comes and he puts his clothes back on. We hold him down to give him the shot. He apologizes (what a brat) for his behavior and I take him to dinner. He eats dinner and stacks his tray, and then he falls asleep in his chair. The rest of the staff say he's faking, but when I go to get him up it's apparent that he was really asleep. We go back to the unit and he goes straight to his room and falls asleep. I call the nurse and ask him what the shot was. He says that it was the strongest dose of Zypreza he could legally give to an 11 year old. The kid's fucking knocked out. So while everyone got to go outside in the hot sun and play, I had to sit by the door and watch Tyler sleep.

There was some extra snacks left over, so I had 1 vanilla pudding, 2 peanutbutter and jelly sammiches, 2 orange juices, 1 apple, and one kid didn't want his dinner tray (which was taken to the unit) so I ate his baked potato. :X lol All while watching tv next to Tyler's door.

I woke him up a few hours later to make him take a shower. He did so and went straight back to bed.

Just before shift ended, we got a new admission. I was told that he had been there 8 times before. He was well known with the hospital and the staff. He's 9 and had come to the hospital for all manner of reason over the years. This time he was being admitted because he'd poured lighter fluid all over his little sister and had planned to set her aflame when they'd caught him in the act. When he was 5, he was swimming with his cousin of the same age who had drown in the pool with him. His grandmother had her suspicions, but could never prove what she thought. After this recent incident with his sister, the rest of the family also believes that he drown his cousin.