my favorite drunk story
went to a convention in vancouver BC, left early to avoid rush hour, so we hit the hotel around 1pm
we'd picked up 2 40oz bottle of bacardi 151 at the duty free store on the border, so i challenged my friend livia to a shot contest, with me doing 2 shots for every 1 she did.
next think i remember was waking up on the floor of the hotel room wet
"what happened?" i slurred to my friends sitting on the beds
"you passed out on the floor, then after a while, stood up, pulled down your pants, pissed on the floor, then pulled your pants back up and passed out again on the urine soaked carpet"
"fuck" i then crawled into the bathroom, removed the soggy clothes, and flopped into the tub, turned the shower on hot and laid there in a daze for the next hour or so
made it back into the room, and crawled in bed with livia who wasn't quite as smashed as me, but still pretty messed up. started making out with her, and as she told me to go get a condom, i realized it probably wasn't a good idea since she was dating another friend at the time. rolled outta the bed, found my bag and put some clothes on and proceeded to wander throughout the con, most of which i have no memory of to this day, though i do remember when i was presented as a dead philosopher for the scavenger hunt. round about midnight i started feeling hungry, since i had puked up everything in my stomach on a few occasions throughout the night. my friend drove us to burger king, where i spun a yarn about how our order had been fucked up earlier that day and we wanted free food, which we got. drank my shake and ate my burgers, then started feeling intense stomache pain. as soon as we got back to the room i went to the bathroom and started heaving
the interesting thing at this point is that all the stomach acid had already been thrown up, so the food was completely undigested, just mixed with a little saliva. it was by far the thickest vomit i have ever had the misfortune to spew it came out kinda like self service soft serve ice cream
after that i went to bed for the night.
the next night i avoided the hard stuff, but we threw a room party and some people brought bottles of kahlua and baileys, which i mixed with chocolate milk for stomach settling drunkeness. much fun was had by all at the party until the convention security shut us down at 3am, putting the girl braiding my hair in charge of my drunk ass
now at the hotel at the same time was a high school chorus group doing some performance in canada, and the girl in question was 15 year old who had crashed our party with a couple friends. ended up in bed with her making out until 9am when her friends called and said the chaperones were on their way to our room looking for the wayward girl. we rushed her out of there in time, and managed to make it out of canada without further incident