Well truthfully all I said was that he was 'gone', so I could see how you'd be confused. I assumed that you would know from OF, as I can't seem to prevent myself from not mentioning it in certain threads. And when you you said you'd had a connection with him, I assumed you meant he was talking to you or visiting you or something. I assume too much.


Interesting. I asked because in dreams they are a sort of feral jade colour - like a panther's. Then in waking life the first moment I set eyes on a mirror I always see my eyes being a very dark, deep green - like green amber or tourmaline. Then on the second glance they return to being a mixture of green and rusty brown/red. In sunlight they are amber. People who casually look at me will say 'hazel' (what a cop out). It seems my eyes do turn grey when I am scared, though I've never observed this. A friend noticed this while at a roller coaster park. Hmm. Interesting. Eyes are fun.


Well, what you've been calling a demon, I've been calling an aspect of myself. Like a split in my personality, only...more. Different. It's like an entity unto itself, but still me. It's androgynous, really, though it does tend to lean towards being male. I simply call it by it's name and leave out the she/he bit. It is pretty much as you described it, but far, far darker. I think of it as my essential self - the way I really am - that I've been forced to deny for most of my life. I agree on the bit about the chakras, though I don't think that is directly related to it. I think that's just this me - the one that's been repressing myself. It's sexuality is quite strong and together we are quite ravenous.
I think of my merging with it as simply merging with a truer version of myself. My Self at it's most pure.

Derdekea isn't it's name. Both of it's names are Roman (Latin).