Polas once wrote a magnificent song about evil beatniks that worshiped Miracle Whip. It was a metaphor for our society, and .... how we are TOTALLY obsessed with Miracle Whip. Polas took such good care of it while writing it in order to hide it from the Commies, that he hid it in an empty tub of Miracle Whip. Then, just as Polas had been ready to administer the final touches, and release the greatest song of all time into the world, he discovered he had actually placed it into a full tub of Miracle Whip. Ohh, the cruel, cruel irony. Polas is now going to write a new song, about this angst-ridden experience. This time, he'll hide it in his boxer shorts. It cannot fail.