...... I kinda came to an interesting question tonight.... .. Im a little drunk.... and I have had a very bad night.... there for.. lol.. it seems that its a good time to think about things.... and I have been weighing the pros and cons of taking my own life I guess you could say... .. .. and I think one of the reasons I have never actually gone through with it... is because I feel like.. evan if I am dead.. I dont want to be a bad person.... .. and... I guess I feel like I would dishonor myself by giving up... ... but .. by staying here.. and surviving.... it seems no more rewarding.... .. .. its kinda the constant battle I go through.... than again.. like I said.. Im drunk.. so... Im probly just being too honost....