I'm pretty much alone. Since i'm shy on top of this. I feel even more alone. I really do get nervous around people. When some people run into me and they want to have a chat with me. I'm afraid to speak. Like i'll talk to them in my mind but my lips won't open to speak. So since i stay home alot and i really don't have any friends or a lover. I only have me and my parents. But mainly i just stay in my room and play around alot on the computer. I also feel that my life isn't as important as some other people seem to have an important life. Sometimes i just feel like i'm here for the hell of it and everyday feels like the weekend because i don't do anything but the computer. You see when i break down i have no one here to comfort me at all. It is like this for me every day. Sometimes i am very strong about it and other times i am not very strong about it. But since i'm trying to get my self to work again and to make some money and try to meet some people. I'm going to try very hard to work around my shyness and to come out of my shell more. Other times it doesn't feel so bad to be alone. Then on somedays it really hits you.

Today is day one that i haven't heard from the people at Hollywood Video that i have applied for. I'm still waiting for them to call me.